What's the Name of the Game?

What's the Name of the Game?

Can you feel the way I do?

ABBA lyrics: "The Name Of The Game"

"What's the name of the game? Does it mean anything to you? What's the name of the game? Can you feel it the way I do? Tell me please, 'cause I have to know I'm a bashful child, beginning to grow

And you make me talk And you make me feel And you make me show What I'm trying to conceal If I trust in you, would you let me down? Would you laugh at me, if I said I care for you? Could you feel the same way too? I wanna know..

What’s the name of the game?”

Apparently I’m really weird. My daughter tipped me off to this fact well over a decade ago, with all of her complaining about why can’t I just be a normal person, like all the other parents. . . You know, she was upset because I was too happy, and I smile and I joke around too much. I wasn't serious and stern enough to fit the mold as a ‘normal’ parent i guess. That was a surprise, because I never thought of myself as an especially happy person, you know? But maybe that’s how it came about - because I don’t spend much energy comparing myself to other people… so I never knew. Who knew? Not me. . . I mean, I have never wasted time looking into the shopping carts of other people to see what they are buying. I don't care what they are buying. . . I care about being happy with what I am buying. That's all. No kidding. My daughter complained once that I am the “happiest person” she had ever met. . . Now, personally, I thought that was a great compliment, and a good thing, but apparently she didn’t see it that way at all. . . She wanted me to be more “normal,” Yep, at six years old she was already acting like a sober little adult, and five years later she had serious concerns about why I couldn’t seem to handle being serious and cynical too. Being around a joyful guy must get really annoying if you don’t identify. I dunno. But why is it embarrassing to have a happy parent? Is there some big social stigma on you if you haven’t driven your parent mad enough to be a big frowning frothy sourpuss yet? Seriously. Maybe it’s a guy thing, and it's not masculine to be happy and enjoy life. Perhaps it’s a role model thing, and it’s unsettling, and Dad’s are never supposed to be joyful happy people, . . instead they should belch, and frown, and be all scary. . . Well, I didn’t measure up. My bad. Don't get me wrong. I got plenty of reasons to belch and frown, believe me. Her mom took off when she was a 3yr old, to pursue various boyfriends and live different places, and left me to raise my daughter as a single parent. So sue me! . . .I figured I should try to make the best of it. Why not be happy and enjoy life while trying your best? I guess maybe I tried too hard. . . But you can’t really spend lots of time obsessing over all the negatives when there are diapers to change, and new clothes to buy, and basketball practice at 7am every Saturday morning - all freaking winter long - can you? No. Oh I suppose you could, and maybe people do. It’s pretty overwhelming really, but I’m just apparently too much of a fountain of happiness. . . But I figure, once you make the commitment, you just have to try and enjoy the journey after that. No? Yes, I might be stupidly loyal, but not to circumstances. See, I think my spiritual experiences must make me a whole lot less attached to all sorts of things that other people take waaaaaay more seriously than I do. . . And even worse, I seem to find humor in those things! . . . Maybe if I were more demanding and critical about my circumstances then I would frown and belch more often. But, I figured out, that my identity begins with my spiritual self. So, I seem to find it easier to be content, than people who frown and belch a lot. The spirit world I’m serious about, but this world, well, I just try to enjoy what I can about this world before I leave it. Look, I’ve been: neglected, abused, attacked, embarrassed, betrayed, ignored, accused, poisoned, allergic, discriminated against, shot at, fired, expelled, beaten, lied to, targeted, tested, tempted, dumped, disowned, diseased, disfigured, demoted, resented, relocated, injured, audited, cursed, writhing in agony and pain, abandoned, ridiculed, laughed at, lied about, slandered, a failure, destitute, threatened, unlucky, sued, chased, robbed, vandalized, tricked, cheated, and taken advantage of. Okay? So, lets do the can-can. I can spend all my time complaining, really I can, or I can try to live life the best that I can can can.