RLMcCormick Writes
Things that you might want to read
Recent Blogs
Frogs!
When I wear shorts, I go to the pond. I sit down and I meditate. The frogs start croaking. I start croaking too. Sometimes, while croaking, the frogs come up and quizzically look at me. They tilt their little froggy heads. After awhile, one or two of them will hop up on my legs. It feels really weird when they sit on your legs and croak. It’s like having vibrators on your legs.
Surviving our new Nationalized Health Care
I got the call from Dad. "Son, I'm on the government website, trying to sign up for Obamacare, and I go to Live Chat, and I tell the woman, I was told that I need to have my prostate screamed, and she just laughs at me!
'Where do I go to get my prostate screamed?' I kept asking her, but she just kept laughing at me. . . How am I supposed to get my prostate screamed, when government workers are so brutal like this?
PANIC ATTACK Triggers
Ya might be askin yerself, “What would he know about panic attacks?” Well, I tell ya, I cause a lot of them, actually. Me and Hilda (that’s my axe).
Now, ya take fer instance, my favorite little shop of frothy coffee. The women who work there get into quite a routine, they do, spinning drinks, serving drinks, collecting money, and repeat. They can look right through you if you stand at the counter. So, sometimes, Hilda and I just pop onto their back line and wander around on the other side of the counter. Now, you would think they might get used to finding a suave dwarf like myself, with a big axe, in their back room, but hey, no they don’t really. . . I seem ta always take’m by surprise, and sometimes their faces will turn all red, and their eyes get all big like this, and they start wheezing and fighting to breathe (I am rather handsome).