Men & Women
MEN & WOMEN
Men & Women Men and women are different. Their brains are organized differently. It is a scientific fact.
Most men are left brain dominant, and most women are right brain dominant. And, surprise surprise, most gay males tend to be right brain dominant, and most lesbians tend to be left brain dominant. . . Each side of the brain is oriented differently and it makes a BIG difference how you view the world and interact.
The left brain is linear and logical, it sees reality as a continuum and it tries to resolve problems by separating their component parts, deconstructing and analyzing the individual details. But the right brain is relational and whole-istic, and it sees reality as a big state of oneness with connections and interrelationships and tries to solve problems through synthesis. . . So, if it is raining, for example, a man might choose to wear ugly rubber boots that keep his feet dry (left brain problem solving), and a woman might first consider what color shoes match her dress and fit her mood (right brain problem solving).
New studies also seem to confirm that women’s brains may be hard-wired to care for babies, because "women interrupt mind wandering when exposed to the sounds of infant hunger cries, whereas men carry on without interruption." Brain scan studies have also shown that the cries of a baby will usually evoke feelings of sympathy and care giving in a woman, but the same cries more likely evoke feelings of irritation and anger in men.
Most men are not emotionally agile or fast. A man might have one emotion and keep it all day long, while a woman can go through 10 different emotions in a single conversation. This is great for raising children, (that mom can be so quick and responsive) but causes problems in a relationship. Most men are not intentionally "emotionally abusive." Most men just have no concept of what it is like to be emotionally responsive so easily and to have that many emotions so quickly. . . It requires faith sometimes for a woman to overlook how she might feel and give a man the benefit of the doubt that he didn't mean to cause - however she feels, and realize that he may not even be aware of it.
Women talk almost three times as much as men, with the average woman chalking up 20,000 words in a day - 13,000 more than the average man! In “The Female Mind,” Dr Luan Brizendine says women devote more brain cells to talking than men. The simple act of talking triggers a flood of brain chemicals which give women a rush similar to that felt by heroin addicts when they get a high. Men don’t seem to get any corresponding natural ‘encouragement bonus’ for talking.
Women talk to BE connected. Men DO things with someone to feel connected. (Women feel connected BEing together, men feel connected DOing together.) I cannot emphasize this enough. Thus, sex is a more important focus for men. . . Studies have shown that while a man will think about sex every 52 seconds, the subject tends to cross women's minds only once a day. . . Where women talk to feel connected, men must first feel connected in order to talk as much. . . This is why women have conversational friends, while men have 'poker buddies', or 'hunting buddies.'
Here is the key:
Men are "TO DO" oriented, Women are "TO BE" oriented. Men think and are judged according to what they can DO, their accomplishments; such as who can beat who up, who can spit farther, who earns the most money, etc. Women think and are judged according to BEING something; being attractive, being nice, being polite, being a good mother, etc.
Women are pleased TO BE with a male companion, Men enjoy DOING an attractive woman. Men think of their home as their castle where they can relax and and DO whatever they want. Women, however, think of it as their nest, which reflects on them personally, as a woman BEING neat and clean and having good judgment. . . Scientific studies have shown that women are more aware of objects in a room, and are more likely to notice if one of them is moved. That is great for child rearing and tending the nest. Men, on the other hand, test out as better at hearing a noise and being able to determine from where and what distance the noise came from. That is great for protecting the nest.
Men focus in like a laser on a female body and are excited by that. (Lots TO DO there.) Women are more sensitive to exterior locations of ease and comfort, which they term as "romantic" places. (Lots TO BE there.) Unfortunately each sex often wrongly tries to improve their own attractiveness, by wrongly relying on their own understanding of what affects them, and what they assume will therefore affect the opposite sex the same way. So, for example, women often spend a lot of time trying to decorate their exterior selves in hopes they will be more attractive if they are wearing something beautiful, -a magically enhanced transfer of beauty-by-association that most women understand, but most men don't. . . For instance, women are often aware of what shoes a person is wearing, while men generally pay no attention to that whatsoever.
Women tend to think that they are more beautiful if they stand next to a beautiful painting on a lush carpet, because they become part of a more-beautiful whole. But men don’t think that way. The linear logical minds of most men see each item separately, and they have no concept that one item is any better or worse just because of it’s relation to the other two things. This is why mud wrestling is popular, because men can focus only on the bodies of the mostly naked women involved, and largely ignore the mud.
Women spend a good part of their lives making decisions about personal style and fashion (To Be) and men do not, because men are far more concerned about what they can DO than how they might look or smell while DOing it. . . Women seem to develop a template of style, or a cookie cutter of "BEing," and are critical of all who fall too far outside of those standards, and they are much more accepting of those who meet their expectations. This is great for raising and molding children, but this can cause problems in a relationship. Desiring a synthesis of the whole, women are often frustrated and befuddled that men are not more like women. Men, however, examine the component parts separately, and actively appreciate and relish the differences between men and women.
Want to keep a man? Help him DO what he wants to do. Sex, hobbies, sports, career, whatever.
Want to keep a woman? Help her BE what she wants to be. BE loved, BE beautiful, BE appreciated, BE secure, etc.
Relax, if you don’t fit perfectly into these stereotypes. I don’t care. This is just a general key to help men and women better understand each other, that’s all.
(C) RLMcCormick
