Love & Character

Love & Character

I want to talk about character first.

Character is demonstrated by how you treat people who can do nothing for you.

You’ve probably heard that before, but it is still true, and worth thinking about.

Not everything that is attractive is good for you.

The berries of the Deadly Nightshade plant look delicious, which is why the plant is also called “belladonna” which means “beautiful lady.” I know, eye doctors use it in tiny amounts to dilate your eyes for eye exams, but eating the berries will cause you to hallucinate, have convulsions, slip into a coma, and die. So we don’t calculate the nutritional value of Nightshade berries, or sell them by the pint at the market, and nobody knows how many Weight Watcher points a cup of those is worth. . .

Studies tell us that men find smiling happy women attractive, and that women find angry men attractive. So, do you see the potential here for totally screwing up your life? You should. When feeling attraction like that, how do you remember to value character?

For instance, Sociologists say that women find bad boys appealing, because many women see bad boys as reliable providers, because bad boys have no problem breaking rules to get whatever they want or need. Okay. There might be an attraction there. That might seem desirable. It sure does not sound like love. I suppose if you invest enough time and emotional capital into a bad boy, maybe it can become a form of love. Maybe that’s okay, if you aren’t looking for deep love in return. Maybe bad boys and girls - are like Nightshade berries; and attractive, but not good for you.

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So you might ask, as many have; “well, what’s love got to do with it anyway?” Maybe love is not what I want most from a relationship? But love is everything when it comes to character though, isn’t it?

So now lets talk about love.

Love.

I go back to the ancient Greeks for that. They had 4 words for love, we just have one. I’m not sure the ancient Egyptians had any. I mean, they didn’t exactly inscribe love poems on the walls of their palaces and tombs. (Neither, apparently, did the Inca, Aztec, or Mayans. . .) So let's examine the 4 words that the ancient Greeks used to break down love, starting with the lowest level first:

STORGE - is just ‘natural’ affection for something. A natural affinity, like I’m an Aquarius and I have a natural affinity for the color blue. Mothers have a natural affinity for their own children. It’s like that. It’s a natural and subconscious unthinking affinity love.

PHILIA - is ‘mental’ love. It means to be affiliated (aPHILIAted) with something or someone. It is brotherly love. It is affection for your friends, local sports team, favorite race car driver, politician, or writer of romance novels. You mentally choose to be affiliated with them, and this is philia love. This is where I think most marriages are at, because most of them end in divorce now. It’s choosy love.

EROS - is “physical” love. It means passionate sensual emotional participatory kind of love. It is active, like making love/having sex. It means you not only chose something, but you get involved with it, and you enjoy interacting with it. It makes you laugh. It makes you aroused. It stimulates you pleasantly. I think if more marriages were here at this level, there would be a lot less divorces. It’s a feels-good love.

AGAPE - is “spiritual” love. It is giving. It is an intentional action to promote wellbeing. It is selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional love, seeking nothing in return. The ‘love chapter’ in The Bible (I Corinthians 13), uses this ‘agape’ word for ‘love.’ Love is giving to people who can’t do anything for you. It is doing unto others, as you would have them do unto you, - even though they can’t do anything for you. . . It’s a selfless giving love.

Why is Agape love “spiritual”? Well, because it is supernatural, that’s why. It isn’t natural for humans to behave that way. Little kids don’t naturally give their toys away to each other. Agape love just is not a natural human condition. And if you choose mentally to do it, your ego will rebel, and you’ll soon exhaust yourself and your mental ability to keep it up. O yeah.

So, where can you possibly find this supernatural ability to keep on giving to people who can’t do anything for you, and who might even not like you very much? Source. You gotta have a connection inside you to be able to give (agape) and keep on giving. That’s why people say “God is love.”

Hello. Are you listening? You cannot do this on your own, by force of will. You cannot replenish sufficiently. You will run dry fast. You cannot live in Agape love on your own. You do not have what it takes. It is spiritual. You have to live in God, and God live in you, to do it.

You can be a vessel. You can connect and get agape filled, and then give till you empty yourself and then ask to be filled again, rinse & repeat. That works. - Try it.

Agape ability comes from Source. Agape IS Source actually. Acting like Source IS good character, because character is demonstrated by what? - How you treat people who can do nothing for you.

So, that’s what love’s got to do with it. . .

You see now, hopefully, the different levels of love, and how they affect character – which affects relationships, because character is what? – how you treat people who can do nothing for you. Which depends on what? – Love.