It's ALL about INFLUENCE
It’s all about INFLUENCE.
So, If I asked you, what would you say is the best, most satisfying part of sex? Yeah, seriously. It’s been said that sex is 90% mental. So you didn’t immediately have something physical pop into your mind, did you? Ironic and confusing, isn’t it?
Lets be blunt, if sex were 90% physical, instead of 90% mental, why would you need a partner at all? You can physically stimulate yourself with pretty much the same orgasmic consequences. So what makes a partner, any partner, desirable? Why do people pair up instead of remaining single and independent? What can you ever get from a partner, that you could not get by yourself?
Influence, that’s what. Beyond initial attractiveness and stimulation, what would you say you enjoy most about your partner? Probably you enjoy most, some form of influence; your influence on your partner. Yes, the terminology sounds a bit Machiavellian and you may have never given serious thought to it before, but probably you enjoy seeing and reacting to your partner being aroused by you, and you enjoy creating passion in your partner, and you enjoy and are most satisfied by seeing how passionate you make your partner until they lose complete control. All of these are obvious visible signs of your influence on your partner. Someone who gets turned on and passionate for you -is reacting to your influence. It is both satisfying and reassuring. In fact, I think we stay with partners, because of not only the convenience, but also because we know and are confident that our partner -is a person on which we can have a considerable and satisfying influence.
So, what does a woman really really want in a man? In a word: influence. What does a man really want in a woman? Influence. Sure, they may want it for different reasons, and in different ways, because they have different basic orientations and drives, but I think if you boil it all down, in the final analysis, what we want most in a partner is influence; the mental 90% of sex and relationship.
I think you can easily invent plenty of practical ways to improve your relationships using this knowledge. It’s really not a hard thing to supply visible signs of influence to your partner, IF you start with any basic understanding of what your partner basically wants from the relationship, and realize that it’s essentially the same thing that you want.
But I don’t think most relationships start out that way. Sadly, most relationships seem to have partners who are solely and independently focused on what they themselves are getting out of the relationship, and have little or no clue what their partner may want from the relationship. “I have no idea. Men/Women are just waaaaay too hard to understand. I just know it works for me.”
This sort of attitude, leads to a situation of competition and manipulation, instead of a situation of cooperation and support. In other words, most people just fall into relationships because they are getting fed there, and they take little thought or concern about how their partner in the relationship gets fed also from the relationship.
Still, even with the selfish basis of most relationships, our desire for influence, you know, makes us a bit different from the animals. Animals breed out of instinct. Are they watching and listening for enjoyable signs of influence when they mate? Apparently not. It appears to be completely physical. Wham, bam, over and gone and often with little or no obvious pleasure or enjoyment. Maybe 90% physical and 10% mental, a complete reversal of the how and why most humans mate and have sex.
Now, for just a moment, postulate a creator God. For what imaginable reason, seriously, would such a being ever be tempted to create humans with self awareness and a free will (or even create them knowing that they would be tricked into gaining such an easily available state of knowledge)? Why?
Why create anything that has the possibility, and maybe even the probability, of rejecting you? Why? Why? Why? Could it, maybe, be to enjoy the same satisfaction we were created to enjoy from our relationships - influence. No free will = no enjoyment from influence.
What, according to Jesus, were the two greatest commandments? “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.” (relationship) (influence). This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” (relationship) (influence) On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”
Also, FYI, -the Apostle Paul referred in his writings to Believers (the influenced) as the ‘Sons of God’ who remain here in this physical earth dimension and are constrained as children who are put in school to be instructed (influenced) until such time as they shall grow and receive their royal inheritance.
God apparently enjoys your reaction to his influence, in much the same way that you enjoy how your lover reacts to your influences, because Paul also wrote that without faith (influence) “it is impossible to please God.”
So apparently, you could work your fanny off, quite literally, on your own, and cause your own spiritual orgasms, but God doesn’t get very much pleasure out of you doing that. No. But your reaction to God’s direct influence, - now that seems to be the really enjoyable and satisfying part of the relationship, at least for God.
(C) RLMcCormick
