COUNSELING

COUNSELING

. . .a world fulll of loud messy stinky toddlers. . .

I learned what I know about counseling from a Marine.

He was a Special Forces/Black Beret/Seal Team member guy with combat experience.

Bob knew about force. He knew how a three member team could take out a whole enemy division of soldiers. Bob knew about patience and adaptability. He knew what it was like to wait for days, stranded behind enemy lines, for a helicopter to finally arrive. Bob knew about direction and perseverance. You could drop Bob naked into any wilderness, and he would survive and eventually find his way out.

You might imagine that Bob talked a lot about discipline and authority. But you would be wrong. Bob was a very practical man. Bob was all about getting the job done, and Bob studied how things actually work.

Having successfully counseled hundreds of people, Bob described the experience like this:

“For most people, life is like leaving the center aisle of a big warehouse, and running down a side aisle, frivolously knocking piles of boxes off the shelves in their wake behind them with their arms. Until one day, they reach the outer wall of the warehouse, and they realize that their path is a dead end, and they realize it doesn’t lead where they thought it did, and now they turn around, and they see that the only way back, is littered with the wreckage of a careless life lived in vain.”“

"To be a counselor, you have to love them right there. You can’t wait for them to get back to the center aisle and be right before you love them. You have to love them where you find them, hug them, and hold their hand, and help them put the boxes back on the shelves, and climb over the wreckage and the obstacles, to find the path back.”

Bob knew. You must love them where they are. You cannot put conditions on it. They are at point X and you know they should be waaaay over here at point Y. You cannot wait until they get to point Y to love them. You just can’t. You have to love them right now, right where they are, or just forget it. It won’t work, and you can’t be a counselor.

Think of them as a toddler with a cereal bowl on their head and oatmeal running down their face, throwing cups, screaming bad words that you have no idea how they learned, with flailing arms, a red face, and a diaper full of stinky poo. You can’t fix that, if you don’t love it first. You cannot obsess over how they are doing EVERYTHING wrong, or about how what they are doing is BAD for them. It starts with love, and it takes time.

Counseling is no different than God loving you. You are God’s loud messy stinky little toddler. Yes you are. So am I. You didn’t deserve it, but God loved you anyway. It’s called grace. If you accept it, you get fed. If you don’t accept it, you stay hungry. Counseling is just you being mature enough to pass on the same grace and love that you accepted, on to someone else now.

Counseling is a spirit of adoption. You don’t adopt a parent. The parent adopts you. Just like God did. You just agree to it, accept it, and get fed. It changes you. Your name changes. Just like with God, there is no abandonment. Once you are part of the family, it’s forever. My daughter can move half way around the globe and do everything I find horrible, disgusting, and shocking, but she is still forever, always, my daughter. Nothing she ever does can change that fact. Counseling and discipleship are like that. It is you adopting someone in love and grace, the same way God loves and adopted you.

Remember, God never excommunicates anybody … Humans do that. -

“Adam, where art thou?”

#teachings #love