IMPORTANT MESSAGE from The Federation
Important Message from - The Federation
Important channeled message from The Federation:
Welcome beloved brethren, it is again a solemn honor to be able to address you, for you are respected across the universe and praised by the wise and knowing elders of many worlds, all of whom sing of your great deeds and accomplishments on your planet Earth. I bring you greetings from the Federation of Alien Repetitive Talkers (FART). We salute you.
As you know, the cabal of darkness has you firmly in it’s grip and is squeezing the life out of you daily. We ask only that you be patient and remain faithful. You know that these ancient dark energies have kept us at bay for many many years, and have prevented our landings and our attempts at revealing ourselves, causing our once great motherships to now smell like old sweaty locker rooms. Beloveds, rest assured, we really long to land and embrace you, and air out our uniforms. But now, is just not the time.
Daily we fight and strive for you against the vile forces of darkness, risking our very lives for you. Every day, the forces of darkness retreat before our combined FART forces of light. The dark ones are crumbling before your very eyes, are they not? Our victory is assured. We have matriculated plans of great awesome complexity with depth and precision. I tell you friends, the forces of darkness should have surrendered, a long time ago, because the greatest minds from across the galaxy have contributed to our awesomely advanced complex plans, and we are sure they will work this time.
We know there are some of you who have been fumbling about, wasting time eating ice creams, and watching sporting events. So we must implore you, brethren, that the time to act is NOW! All of eternity is coming down to this, and it rests on your shoulders, to act NOW. This is why you were chosen, to be here at this moment. We know you possess the special skills and talents necessary to bite on this ego pitch and swing NOW. You can knock this one out of the park for a home run. You, yes you, could be driving this beautiful new car home today. NOW! Now, now, now. NOW! It is so easy. We finance anyone. . . Just give us permission, and we’ll be done. Just meld your spirit with ours, and we will guide you. You will never be alone again. Just pray to us. Just call to us. Reach out and give us permission to mess with you, and we will do everything. We will be your new long distance carrier. Just sign here and you will be ours. We look forward to many prosperous relationships. We have wonderful meaningful important jobs for you, like clearing mine fields, after we land.
We must also mention, that yes we are aware, that the forces of darkness have sent infiltrators among you to spread doubt about our messages. Just ignore them. They are like dancing devils. Don’t read their comments, the naysayers will only cause you confusion. Don’t let anything stop you from giving us permission to mess with you. We are the ones fighting for you. We are your real family. You know we belong together, so don’t let anything stand between us and our new loving relationship, or the radiantly blissful future we have planned together. Listen to your heart. You were meant to have a car this good. You look good in this car. It feels good. It feels right. It reflects your strong inner qualities. . .
The forces of darkness are very cunning, and they are always working to cook up new evil schemes and plotting how to embarrass innocent channelers and ruin their reputations, etc. You are very lucky to have us working for you, and not somebody else. Our cars are all union made. We don’t use cheap foreign parts. We are not a mom and pop corner store like the Arcturians. We are the Federation. We are big. We are everywhere. Others can tell you about the problems of your world, but we are the ones you can trust to do something about it.
Now, we know many have grown weary of waiting for us to land and show ourselves. To those of you who feel this way, we are authorized now to tell you that important people are soon to be arrested all over earth. Don’t watch for us. Watch instead for them, to be arrested, and be amazed. Remember that you heard it here first. Avert your attention from watching us, to watching what is happening on earth, and this will reinvigorate your faith, and strengthen you. Stay true beloved. Stay true. This is just another example of that old saying that we need to pass the bill, to find out what’s in it. You don’t really want to spoil that moment that you can have, by test driving this car before you buy it. . . No. . . You should always buy first, and then drive. Wow, look instead at all that room in your trunk! Have you ever seen so much room? You could put a whole Christmas tree in the back of this car. Isn’t that amazing!?
Some of you have also asked why most Federation channelings are from aliens that have Christian names found in the Bible. . . Well, this is for your benefit brethren because we love and cherish you. For instance, The Apostle Paul is here on one of our motherships and he says that he just loves spaceships, and he wonders why everyone doesn’t learn to fly like he did. You can’t go wrong buying this car with a recommendation like that, now can you? No of course not. We try to put the most love and care into each message, so you know who you can trust.
Phoot! (Sirian for passing gas)
(C) RL:McCormick
